Are you gaslighting yourself?

If I were to ask you, "do you trust yourself?", you would likely say yes. Most of us say we do. I have found that self-trust is a practice, a lifelong relationship that needs to be tended to daily. Here's why it matters: there is a literal information war going on right now. We are all impacted by it, whether we watch news and social media or not. It's a chaotic mess of divisiveness. If you have not watched the Social Dilemma on Netflix, it helps spell it out. 

Humanity need more people who know how and what to trust inside of themselves. 

When I don't trust myself, I feel knocked around by life. I feel like I have to constantly check in with people, or social media, or my email about what I'm doing and what is real. I feel fidgety and up in my head. I feel like there's something better I'm meant to be doing, but I don't know what that is. 

Self trust gets broken down in a lot of ways, here is one example:

How many of you have an "old issue", a part of yourself that just keeps rearing its head? Maybe it is an anxious part of you. Maybe it is a part of you that doesn't want to commit to things. A tendency to check out. To eat too much chocolate. Etc. 

And how many hours have you spent trying to heal (aka get rid) of that part of you? You have cleansed your chakras, consulted the tarot, meditated, chanted, visualized a loving conversation or two with it. 

What if that healing attempt is actually a subtle internal gaslighting of yourself? Which is actually breaking down your self trust?

(((If you don't know what gaslighting is, it is basically where someone says "this is my experience" and the other someone says "you are wrong that's not what is happening." or "I know better, I'll make you fit into my reality.")))

What if there is a way for you to learn how to trust that "old issue"? What if it keeps flaring up because it actually has a message? And its energy can actually serve your empowerment rather than take you down?

This internal "self-healing" thing a lot of us do, can sometimes be dismantling our ability to trust ourselves.

Here are some things you can do right now to start building self trust. The information shitstorm we are in is just getting more intense, so the more anchored you are inside, the more you can truly serve.

Ways to build self-trust:

1. Watch how you talk to yourself: we have a very basic part of ourselves that listens to and believes everything we say. If you say "I'm going to the gym in the morning," and you don't, you break a little of your trust. Instead say "I'd really love to go to the gym in the morning". 

2. Start to ask the triggers what they need? Be curious. Honestly, this one often needs an external neutral person to help decipher sometimes. But you can start to inquire into the messages of your triggers rather than taking the on as a personal fix-it project.

3. Create space where you tend to yourself. I learned about tending from one of my teachers Kendra Cunov and it has made a huge difference for me. 

4. Say things to yourself like "how are you my love?" and "I want to know you". When you are triggered "wow I am upset. Wow this is a lot of energy."

In my course "Sensitivity is a SuperPower" we are going to work on all of this in a lot more detail. We start next Tuesday. And yes, you can sign up for the course even if you can't make the live meetings. All sessions will be recorded. 

Hoping you are well and thriving in these wild times.

Love,

Amy