You want stuff... admit it!

This is your official permission slip to want stuff...

I have an assignment for you. Write down 50 things you want. Notice immediately what comes up when I say that. Maybe your mind goes blank. Maybe you hear "I don't want anything". Or "I already have everything I need. I am grateful". Or "Desire is the root of suffering". Or "I never get what I want". Or "It doesn't matter what I want". Or "If I want something that means someone else will suffer or go without". Or "dude, Amy, it is the end of the world, why do my wants matter at all" Or maybe yours has a more spiritual tone around the flaw of attraction or manifestation. (((Wait did Amy just type flaw of attraction? Yes. More on that later.)))  Look at all that crap that gets tied up with wanting things. We are taught all sorts of things in order to get what we want or cope with not getting what we want. Ultimately many of us are relating to our wants as a means of punishment or reward. 

A couple of years ago (which honestly feels like another lifetime thanks to 2020), I was at a crucial decision point. My sister was asking me "what do you want?" and I lost my shit. I was like "this is not about what I want. I want a housekeeper, a new wardrobe, and a house by the river in Aspen. None of that is going to happen, so why even orient myself around it?" I was so pissed off that after years of "being a good spiritual person", I still didn't have the life I wanted. I kept my vibes so high, you guys, why wasn't there a housekeeper!?!?? But then I sat with one of my mentors and she helped me see that in fact, what was at the root of wants was helpful. I now know that the desire for a housekeeper was actually a desire to not have a chaotic home life. The house by the river is about my energetic need to be near running water daily. The wardrobe is about honoring my true self in the way I dress, instead of just throwing on the jeans. Those wants did help me land where I am now, and the root of them did have deep wisdom. I got there by letting myself feel them. Not judge them, partition them off, or make deals with the universe about them. I felt the pain that was in there, I felt the desire, I felt the guilt, I felt the drama. And it was in the feeling that I was able to untangle the layers.  I wonder what it would be like if we just learned how to feel desire. How to simply acknowledge that desire is a human experience and wanting things is normal. What if we just had an ongoing list of things we want? Instead of making it some big drama about being punished for wanting or rewarded for wanting... what if we learned how to simply feel that sensation of desire? What if we let ourselves listen to what it is ACTUALLY asking for?  For myself and most of the clients I have worked with on this, desire is a pretty strong energy. And if you are working in the realms of wanting lead to punishment, then that energy gets buried inside; stuffed down and ignored. If you work in the realms of "if I'm good enough the universe will give me what I want" then you are also making the desire about the getting it.  What if wanting and getting are two entirely different things? Can you untangle the thread of desire from the thread of getting it? What if the powerful energy of desire was allowed to be free in you with a mature, grounded perspective around how to maneuver it? If you take on the assignment, (write down 50 things you want) I would love to hear how it goes for you. Tell me what you discover about yourself.  (Those of you signed up for Sensitivity is a Superpower, we will do a deeper iteration of this). Here's to freeing up your energy so that you can use it to make your magic! Love Amy