Go Directly Into the Thing

Recently, I was writing a post in a group I belong to and I had a realization: I have chosen the adjacent for much of my life. The thing that's ALMOST the thing I want and need.

I have no regret about this, nor am I beating myself up. I was simply unable to be honest about what I wanted or needed, even to myself. I had learned that being good was the way, and I had no idea how to find or feel or understand my personal wants and needs. A lot of us learned being good because of some big Trauma in our lives, and some of us learned it simply because that's what was the most effective way of avoiding conflict or being accepted.

In 2018, I was in a women's group and one of the women said to me "you need to light a candle and have an honest conversation with God."... Three months later, I finally did it. And it was the most relieving and freeing moment for me in a long time. Since that day, it became a practice: Honesty with myself and the Sacred within me.

After realizing how many things in my life were things I had settled or distorted myself for, I was shown the power of going directly into the thing.

For me this is very much based in the body. I feel the burn in my leg from a long hold in yoga, I go directly into it. I feel the sensation of guilt rise up, I go directly into it. As I go into the thing, I allow it to move the way it wants to move. I have no expectation of it leaving or changing, I just meet it, feel it, and allow it.

Going directly into the thing is what I'm anchoring my 2021 around. I'm done dancing around the thing, figuring the thing out, reading books about the thing. I'm going right in. I know how to be honest with myself and my experience and I am willing to be direct about it. This is a capacity that has to be built, like a muscle.

It is important to note that I do have a clear understanding of myself, and my past, and my trauma. . AND I am always learning. I did not get to this capacity to "go there" alone. And I am getting support with this as I move ahead.

I have had several impactful coaches and mentors AND I have had many women hold me through this experience within the container of a group. I have experienced a true belonging in these containers.

Belonging. Is. So. Key. to our health on every level. Humanity needs to build true belonging within local communities, and I know that might take some time yet. Over the 12 years I've been teaching yoga, I have found many people I love in my local community.

That being said, the relationships I have with the people and mentors I have worked with digitally are the catalyzing forces in my capacity to face and claim the truth of who I am. While we learn to be honest with ourselves and be clear about our experiences, we also need a group who can hold us through the process. We are individuals within a collective experience.

I am at a point where I am aching to give this belonging to you, my readers and clients. Until we are at an evolutionary place where local community becomes local belonging, we do have the digital realms. Starting at the end of February, I am hosting a 12-week journey with women who want to dive right in.

I will add more details to my website where you can read about it. Or if you are interested, you can be direct and email me to ask questions and to set up a 30 minute call. If not my group, please find one that is the right one for you. I am happy to give recommendations as I know of MANY.

I also would love to hear from you: what are you aiming towards in 2021? I'd be happy to support you in creating a clear and visceral intention for the year.

Much love,

Amy